Airport Patdowns and Full Body Screenings

First off, let me tell you that I don’t like to fly anymore.

I used to enjoy traveling by commercial air carriers, but that was before the airlines started charging for every little thing that used to be included in the price of a ticket.

A passenger gets scanned.
TSA photo

I enjoyed those days when my friends or family waved me goodbye from just outside the doorway to the tunnel passageway to the airplane, then directly walking onto the aircraft and being warmly greeted. Once airborne I felt welcome when the stewardess asked if I wanted a pillow, maybe a blanket, or a magazine to read. How about a cup of coffee? Maybe a cocktail?

I remember when flying was a pleasurable experience. Yes, I know those days are long gone, as are some of my favorite airlines, such as PanAm, TWA, PSA and Western. The stewardess is now an overworked flight attendant, friends and family can’t walk with you past the airport ticket counter, and once airborne, food service is lousy or nonexistent. A package of peanuts? That will be fifty cents, please.

Yes, I know about terrorists, the vicious, cold-blooded attack our nation received on 9/11, the shoe and underwear bombers and the continued threats our nation and our commercial airplanes receive. I fully realize we are at war.

And just when I think things can’t get more uncomfortable for passengers, it does.

Now there’s the choice from the Transportation Security Administration (TSA) to either be screened by full-body imaging technology or allowing a patdown from a TSA agent that includes an agent’s hands moving along a woman’s breasts and inside thighs to the crotch area, male or female. Don’t touch my junk, buddy.

I’ll repeat myself: I know we are at war and that extremists are trying to kill us.

The public hears that full body screens are necessary to detect hidden weapons and explosive devices. That advanced imaging technology is safe, and that should a passenger choose to have a patdown instead of being exposed to imaging radiation, that such patdowns are impersonal, professional and quick. Do it to be patriotic, we’re told.

But I’ve had enough. Walking through a metal detector is acceptable to me. Taking my shoes off is OK. Having an agent take a metal detector wand and move it all around my body is fine. But I’ve drawn the line on this new stuff.

I’ve decided that if I can’t drive my car, take a train or even ride a bus, I’m not going. Period. I’ve had it. I’ll use Skype to see and talk with associates around the West or use web conferencing software for meetings.

Being able to take a Southwest flight lasting a few hours (I think it is the best airline going these days) to Denver, Los Angeles, Phoenix, Kansas City or Seattle, spending the weekend playing tourist, then flying back on another two- to four-hour flight is not worth the aggravation to me.

What did people do before commercial aviation? They included extra time for their trips. Remember, Hollywood was built by moguls and stars taking the Super Chief or the City of Los Angeles or the Golden State Limited between New York and Los Angeles via Chicago. Meals were excellent, beds were comfortable and you made new friends over cocktails in the lounge.

I’ve decided my parents were right: Getting there is half the fun. I want to see the West by looking out a window, seeing what I’ve been missing, seeing new things, and I don’t mean looking down from 36,000 feet.

My decision works for me. I’m not asking you to stop flying. But really, what’s your hurry?